Yellville

New York
you chewed me up and you spat me out
a daydream king
constantly scanning your spiral towers
like a mixed up tourist clown
a monk on the run, i get these blues for you
whenever it rains
in vain for you
when i was young once and twenty five
you threw me down among
your hustlers and your pimps
down on 42nd street
your peep show grimace showing your ass
beneath your corporate
ladders
the do I? oh my?
conversation
grabbing me by my balls
directing my vagabond baby feet
upon your bitter path
to the sunny sides
in between your shadow canyons
taking me where i laughed at strangers
and the awful empty anger
the hustling parade of a child in danger
what's in harlem?
where's the bronx?
a never ending melody
hanging over me in my sleep
you stole my singalong
brain fevering over you in june
stumbling down your boho streets
deep in the bowery sink
soho noho
past the village
the dew drop inn
on bleecker street
all the way to battery park
drunk in love
with your big bright lies
and your bottom line
riding your ferries
jumping turnstiles to the trains
where i clung for life, a single
sweet innocent boy of your masses
whom you ignored
but thass okay
new york
i never tire of your empire
or your story
even in my dreams of you i gaze
up at the blue breeze day
and i sneak back to those tower days
i remember the pissed off bartender down
at gough's tavern waving the early drunks away
with a shoo and a wand of his balled up fist
sipping that regular coffee
fetching the shitfaced editors
back up to the third floor machine
for the grey lady truth
to edit all the world
new yawk
you're killing me here
the best pieces of me tossed
like coins along the tombs
teamsters
and strippers charging $5oo
for a hollar
Attica and tom wicker
new york
you threw me out
i wasn't ready for your feast
the hum of the east
you chased my tail like an iron beast
all the way back through
the april snow
through the the new jersey turnpike
straight through to pennsylvania where i smoked
all the way nonstop to indiana
when i stopped to take a leak
in the bubble dark
standing beside a beat-up plymouth fury
staring at the ink of western sky
you were my unkissed smile
yeah, you had me down, a longing
looking over my shoulder back at you
in your crowning glory, you and your winking lights
my tea tea teacher
telling me
what to do
moving through mussourah!
back home and even beyond
i had to get away from you, new york
crossing the big great corny plains
your charms, your arms
tapping out the slow burn memory
i left kansas by the roadside flat
and colorado rose
to greet me in my coffee dawn
i was so naive back then
when i crossed the continental divide
in utah my headlights dimmed out
and i drove as fast as i could
to get you out of my climbing sight
from what I and you together we might have been
still, new york
you were my wet dream, my pretend zen
you were my angry angel baby
an unkind heart
a tainted pearl
a fresh hot pretzel
whetting my appetite
when i was broke
there you were, new york
me and you, i can't get over you
somewhere in my youth
i couldn't hang on to you
but you fed me gershwin dreams
showers and show tunes
rich and happy eyes
sweet and not so gentle
yeah, so here i am
cursed and blessed by
so many aprils so far away from you
new york, you still wound me
slip through, knocking me off my feet
i got it bad for you, new yawk
and that ain't good for the both of us
thinking about you too often
i kissed your monuments goodbye
columbus circle and grant's tomb
i elected to delete you from my brain
the wonder of you, new york
i couldn't ever let go of you, though
i hear you calling
new york
even if i pretend that
me and ranger bob
we left you for the other coast
and here i am
new york
same old dream
i think of you
your story
new york, every day
i look up for your glory
the tall of your forever
you work so hard
the sun strikes hard
your riker's island rainbow
let me go, you did
so i peed on the railroad tracks
and then - time to blow
to the other side
still, i read about you new york
and my heart bursts for you
that same old dream, i can't believe
the dismal chance of our romance
one look at you and your staten island ferry
riverside drive and the upper east side
i still miss you new yawk
walking down amsterdam avenue
meeting myself again in my dreams
i hunger for your weather beaten
john gotti sidewalks
all that i hold sacred
like your
yom kippur Rosh Hashanah goodbye
someone told you, or maybe not
the story of my personal atonement
when i found you new york
you were so little
i met you jealous, smoking in my dreams
a dangling butt, me smiling
holding you in my hand
new york
i don't even have a chance
no matter if now someone else i met
can i be untrue from you when i am away
from you
though you
chewed me up and
you spat me out
and it's like this cat
but you don't hear it from me
i'm no longer scared, just scarred
from you new york
or am I just a self-deluded liar
i used to have it so bad for you
i miss your famous nathan hot dogs
and tad's fabulous steakhouse
and the whitehorse tavern
and brooklyn, aw shit, brooklyn
and coney island skinny dipping
in the dawn of a may in the ocean
you about to kick me out for
slamming too much wine at the tavern o' the green
drunk like a fuckass tourist
at central park
looking out for all the ducks
the cabbie tells me, nigerian he,
that i am fucked, still
i always tip you big, new york
watching wednesday september flyin back in
astoria queens
steinway and dittmars station
i took that A train uptown
N train downtown
smoked the herb at washington square
drinking brahmin bull and bushmills straight
starin down at gracie mansion
back in the day of davy dinkins
i came back to you
and i can't get you out
of my mouth or out of my head
you are too supreme
just the sight of you
new york
what good does it do?
when i am near to you
i see a face in every
window of your towers
the very thought of you
new york
when i come back
to yellville
will you revile
me
leave me downhearted
beat my downtrodden ass
cause i can't get started
i am so still
in love with you
new york
but you don't care
about one more hick clown

like me
in love
with the big
big town